The Toilet Roll Archives (13): Nine Things You've all Worn yet you Still Won't Wear a Face Mask?
A moment of silence for flower crowns, Aztec printed t shirts and those Jack Wills knee high socks. Anything Jack Wills really.
It's no secret that plenty of individuals are annoyed by the addition of face masks into to their lives. By now, you've probably seen and heard plenty of people whine that they’re “claustrophobic, Darren, they* don’t get it, I’m claustro-pho-bic!” – they* being WHO, obvs.
Anyways, whilst the majority of us have accepted masks as a
viable short-term solution to the global crisis we are currently facing, I know of a few people who need a tad more convincing. So *mock-salute*, Kerry Maxwell, reporting for duty; here to pester you so much you'll be begging to wear one!
Sidenote - I’m not saying you have to be perfect; I forget mine all the time if I’m only going to be outdoors. But, like everyone I know, I’m trying to be vigilant. I always make sure I have it in a bag if I’m going into a supermarket or something.
Yeah, they aren’t all that comfortable to wear. Sometimes they make breathing a bit harder and stuff. But there are far worse things we have all been guilty of sporting out in public than a simple face mask. With that being said, I'm going to harken back to the early 2010s. A moment of silence for flower crowns, Aztec printed t shirts and those Jack Wills knee high socks. Anything Jack Wills really.
The early 2010s were a difficult time for everyone, alright! Forget post-Great 2008 Recession, teenagers were making the most horrific clothing decisions and no one was there to stop them! Burn the trends of the early 2010s, burn them with fire: but, just a reminder that most of you complaining about face masks were also the geezers planking on see-saws in the local park wearing a Paul’s Boutique hoody and scraping your BBM pin onto desks in school science labs. Good times. xo
1) Manchester United football shirts
Not being funny (and not strictly 2010 specific) but you’ll wear one of these and not a face mask? Grow up. Also, there is only one football team and one football team only in Manchester and it most certainly isn’t United. Again, grow up.
2) A white dress to a wedding when you aren’t the bride
Edgy xo
**Want a white surgical mask to go with it?
3) Sunglasses inside/those 3D glasses from the cinema with the lenses popped out/those plastic neon shades you got for £1.50 on Leigh market
Compromise: I’ll let you wear sunnies at night if you wear a mask.
4) Those Primark plastic jelly shoes.
Whoever made these a 'thing' was a sadist because all these shoes brought was pain. You wore these willingly as you navigated your way across the lengths of the Trafford Centre but you won’t wear a face mask “because that’s letting the virus win?” Lol cool alright Karen xo
5) Wooden Jesus bracelets????
Because Catholic school 8am til 3pm Monday to Friday for 13-14 years just wasn't enough. Amen. In God (and in face masks) we trust.
6) Barry M 100 that made you look like you literally had no lips, just skin.
I wasn’t allowed to leave the house wearing this and I thank my father, my mother and God herself for this every single day. If you’d have worn a face mask, though, this trend wouldn’t plague your nightmare still to this very day like I know it does for some of you!
7) Trilby hats
Actually, bring these back xo
8) Denim shirts buttoned all the way up to the collar
Because breathing comfortably is overrated (see face masks for other uncomfortable options).
9) Long cargo/chino shorts
You know what you don't need? Eighty-seven pockets. You know what you do need? Protection against a global pandemic.
Sorry for the PTSD but shock tactics sometimes work - wear a mask for people working in tube stations, shops, supermarkets and cafes. Have a bit of respect xoxo
Love and all that xoxo
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