Monday 8 October 2018
"Fine." #WorldMentalHealthDay2018
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
How many times have we said that? How often have we really
given an honest answer to that question?
78% of us have. That’s ridiculous. Studies show 78% of people have
admitted to saying that we are fine when we’re not. And, shockingly, over 55%
of respondents said this was because they didn’t believe people wanted to hear
the honest answer.
It’s like we’re a planet on autopilot: yeah, I woke up this
morning in a bit of a black fog and ran an extra mile at the gym to burn off
the biscuit I shouldn’t have eaten last night and I can’t bring myself to look
at my diary because my schedule makes my eyes burn and my throat clog up…but,
sure, I’m fine.
1 in 7 people will struggle with their mental health over the
course of their lifetime. And because of these numbers, more conversations need
to take place. We don’t want to feel like a burden and we don’t want to seem
“weak” or “pathetic” by being honest and asking for help. Especially over a
phone.
Our phones seem so digitally insincere. Whether it’s a text,
a quick phone call, or a continuation of a Snapchat streak…it’s just easier to
say we are “fine” and cut things short in a world of “NOW” culture. Who has the
time to dissect what being “fine” really means? It’s just easier not to!
And of course, everyone’s favourite buzzword: social media. I love a good twitter
thread as much as the next person and if you give me the name of someone, 10
minutes later, I’ll know their mother’s maiden name and the ins and outs of
that Zante trip last summer. On the face of it all, social media is great. But
we need to remember that every person on any social media platform has
cultivated an image that represents the best, most "fine" version of themselves.
We live in an
airbrushed age, a photoshopped fantasy.
And, in turn, this leads to feelings of insecurity, failure,
anxiety. Someone’s social media feed can make them feel inadequate in light of
Instagrammable expectations.
The real issue is the false sense of reality social media
creates. We have a very quick excuse to not learn to be comfortable with
ourselves, not learning what it really means to be “fine” with how we are
feeling. The immediate distraction and the “NOW” culture we live in allows us
to push any thoughts and feelings we have to the back of our minds instantly.
We can leave them festering in a false pretence of “fine” as we laugh at Donald
Trump’s latest tweet and admire Kim Kardashian’s flat stomach via a (sponsored) pill
promotion.
We never need to feel alone with our own thoughts. We don’t
really give ourselves a chance to unpick what our “fine” really means. Why put
yourself through that when you can be on Instagram instead?
Now, I know what you’re going to say – “PUT THE PHONE DOWN
THEN?” and “Just delete the app!” and all that. But it’s not that simple. As
first-world-problems-Fiat-500-Twitter as it might sound, our phones are our
everything. They buzz and flash and sing to grab your attention; it’s kind of
like having a whiny, needy, albeit digital, puppy. And who wants to confront
their own feelings anyway? If you’re anything like me, your own mind might be
your biggest enemy and trying to get inside of it feels so awkward and,
honestly, kind of scary. Even writing about the possibility of doing so makes
me shoulders tense a little bit…and so I’m quickly moving onto my next point –
even though this further proves that I’m struggling to address the issues at
the core of myself.
The fact is, life is full of pressures, distractions and
worries and all we can try to do is jump right in and find what works for us.
Talking might really work for you, deconstructing what feeling “fine” is. You
might just scroll through a social media platform for a few minutes, telling
yourself that what you’re seeing is someone’s version of their most “fine”
self. Whatever the case may be, it’s time to end being digitally insincere –
whether it be a quick, meaningless phone call or an Instagram post. It’s time
to open up about feeling “fine.”