The Toilet Roll Archives

The Toilet Roll Archives

• Thursday, 19 March 2020

2020, you have not been my friend.

For reasons you might be aware of (see earlier blog posts haha PLUG haha) and for many other reasons a lot of you most certainly aren’t aware of, the whole New Year New Me has not gone to plan in the world of Kerry (Anne*) Maxwell.

*I started this on Paddy’s day: we still don’t know, after 21 years, if Kerry Anne is the full name on my birth certificate or if it is just what my Irish relatives name me one day of the year.

I digress! Anyways, I didn’t come on here to whine, though it feels this is exactly what I do most of the time on here. Just thought I would slot a new lil post in amidst the COVID crazy since I’m working from home for the ‘foreseeable future’ (what a way to celebrate my first month?!)

And although I have barely left my house for the better part of a week to avoid any chance of passing on a virus I almost certainly don’t have, even Lady Macbeth-like levels of hand washing suddenly don’t feel quite socially responsible enough. Forget “dancing like nobody’s watching.” “Living life as if a medic is counting how many people you’re breathing on” suddenly seems a far more appropriate catchphrase.

As I’ve been sat in front of my laptop on calls and on web pages with alerts constantly blowing up my email, it’s come to my attention how we are all a whole lot more dependant on each other than we care to realise and/or admit. People need people more than their meme-filled twitter TL suggests.

It seems a bit weird that the most human thing someone can possibly do right now is to avoid other humans. But it’s the new normal; at least, it is for now. The most considerate thing we can do for the vulnerable in our lives is to stay away. It doesn’t make sense but I guess this whole thing doesn’t. It’s like we’re all living in the weird Creative Writing task of a nine year old child – “…and then a virus came, and then school closed early, and then no one could buy toilet roll…”



And, yet, the selfish and defiant mesh that overlays the core of consideration I like to believe all of us humans have (lol optimist much?) means that I still see certain individuals clinging onto normal routine in abnormal circumstance - which fucks me right off, tbh. Going round Oxford Street because Primark’s quiet? Sitting in Pret because you’ve been specifically told to avoid it? ‘Spoons for a pitcher because you’re bound to bag a booth and sit like King of the Castle? Jokes on you pal; no-one will be there to fight you for it!

London is quieter, sure, but not quiet enough yet.

For healthy, young people who claim that they’ll breeze through this pandemic: shut up and pay attention. Your social life doesn’t matter anymore. Sorry. It doesn’t. If you’re planning a night out, reconsider. Your privileged ignorance is costing the lives of your grandparents and immunocompromised friends. No other way to put it 😊.

The healthy and secure should be leading the way. We should be going out of our way to make life easy for the vulnerable around us. Humans help humans, after all. Like I said, I honestly believe that we all hold consideration and care in our core; it’s the human spirit! Sure, it’s a pain in the arse; I’m not denying that. I can’t wait for the night out that will ensue post-Corona! But, right now, humans need to come first.  

Weirdly, distance between humans has served to prove how important our commitment is to each other.

It smells like a stale apocalypse out here in Stepney Green, during a time of social-distancing, dishevelled shop shelves and empty chaos. The streets are dead, unless you walk down towards the Asda, where the scene could pretty much have been lifted from one of those World Disaster Movies. Money will mean nothing soon; sheets of loo roll will make up our new currency. Talk about making Britain sovereign, right?  

We are never fully independent. We never have been. People have always needed other people to navigate their way throughout the day. We just never really have to think about it. It’s only now, when we have been removed from our daily norm, that we can see how people-centric our lives really are. 

And – sidenote – busy is no longer a personality trait; it’s a privilege. That’s something I’ve learnt this week. Imagine going from working seven day weeks for near enough 6 months to working from home ‘for the foreseeable future,’ lol, IMAGINE! But I’m privileged enough to be able to continue to work from a laptop in my living room as I try to navigate my way through this new normal. Others aren’t so lucky; busy isn't privilege when you can't afford to self-isolate – and that is a blogpost that’s upcoming. I’ve had to put it on the backburner because I keep wanting to cry each time I try to type. I promise I am not neglecting that argument. It is the one I am most passionate about. Trust me, it'll be up asap!

I guess, a silver lining to be found in all of this (a very, very thin thread of silver, might I add!) is the importance of remembering how humanity (aside from their poor hygiene) has a tendency to do beautiful, funny and inspiring things. Even more so in the midst of a crisis. Like playgroups and community activities moving to scheduled skype calls and the odd leaflet dropped through the letterbox from kind neighbours offering to pick up supplies for the vulnerable/unable (thanks Ann, we love you on Alderney <3). I also want our flat to start a podcast called The Corona Archives; the guys are not impressed.

My privilege of ‘busy’ and ‘independence’ was always temporary. It’s a fragile construct I’ve believed in for so long that I've failed to see how my liberation is bound up with others'. It’s only with distance that humans can see how much we need other humans. What we will miss most in this crisis, is each other.

Economic impact and 0.1% interest rates? Zero-hour contracts? Not being able to afford to stay inside and self-isolate? That blogpost will be up tomorrow. My head is buzzing right now.

But for now, be safe - whether you're choosing to self-isolate or whether you aren't fortunate to have that privilege right now. Be loving. Be kind to each other. Most importantly of all, be human – and unless you have the shits or IBS, stop stockpiling loo roll. Dickheads.

Love and all that xoxo