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Saturday, 14 October 2017

The Unpleasantries of Writing


According to some guy called Hemingway, ‘there is nothing to writing.  All you have to do is sit at a typewriter and bleed.’

Correct me if I’m wrong, but clearly our Ernest never suffered with a little old friend called Writer’s Block.  Writing is that simple, apparently.  All I should do is bust open a vein and pour myself out onto a blank page.  Lol.  Ok.  Sit down, Ernie. 

What really annoys me about this quote is that it supports the myth that certain kinds of self-regarding writers like to perpetuate: that real, serious, grown-up writing is full of pain and misery and that a writer is a kind of soothsayer/martyr/prophet who accesses this terrible personal darkness to bring back deeper understandings for the rest of us mortals.

Immediately I’m calling out bullshit.  Writing can be difficult, of course.  Anybody who has tried to string together a sentence at some point knows that.  But then, anything worthwhile or interesting can be difficult.  Playing piano can be difficult.  Trigonometry can be difficult.  Skateboarding can be difficult.  Playing piano whilst skateboarding and doing trigonometry is, I hear, exceedingly difficult.  But difficulty is not something we should shun.  The world is full of difficult things.  Yet people continue to conquer them (I’m yet to conquer trig, but hey, nobody’s perfect!)

Sometimes people must do difficult things out of necessity but very often, people do difficult things because difficulty can be fun.  Some form of pleasure is gained from beating the odds.  It seems to me that writers find themselves in this scenario.  Sure, writing is difficult.  But it is also pleasurably difficult.  Contrastingly, opening your veins over your typewriter is certainly not pleasurable (particularly if you are the one to mop up afterwards!)  Writers, I suspect, don’t like to admit this, because it makes them shallow.  Much better to look like a martyr; much better to look like The Sufferer than to admit that this whole writing business might actually be fun. But there is nothing shallow about pleasure or happiness. Pleasure is about engagement with the world, it is about richness and about depth.

Very often, when writers talk about pleasure, they like to give it a tinge of bloody, excessive darkness because that seems so much more grown-up and serious and all that jazz.  Since when did it become a bad thing to find pleasure in the lighter things in life?

As somebody who not only writes, but who also studies the art of writing, it seems to me that this stuff about typewriters, suicide and the notion of the suffering writer is counter-productive and, to be quite honest, rather depressing.  Sure, it’s time-consuming.  Yes, at times it is not a constant pleasure.  However, writing is definitely not devoid of all pleasure entirely.  And when you find yourself ‘in the zone,’ when the sentences string seamlessly together and the words just flow, these are the moments when writing is addictive.
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Saturday, 12 August 2017

Netflix Grief - yep, it's real.

The 6 stages of Netflix grief:

1) The Processing Stage I (aka Total Paralysis)
As the credits roll after the final episode fades to black, you stare at the screen in complete stupor. You don’t move. You don't think. You barely breathe. Your fingers have become so accustomed to clicking on the next episode that you currently do not know what to do with yourself. The processing stage can last anywhere from just a few minutes to a few days, depending on how the show you watched ended.

2) Emptiness
Perhaps it is the drama from your show seeping into you, but nevertheless, you are convinced that you’ll never feel happy ever again. Finishing a show and having to go back into real life feels like having multiple friends of yours die all at once. You find yourself reminiscing on the good times you guys had together – meaning the times you sat on your couch and watched fictional characters have lives while you gradually lost yours.

3) The Anxiety Stage
You spend a good deal of time just thinking “WTF do I do now?” over and over again. You're lost. You question your purpose on this planet as the anxiety slowly builds because you quickly realise you've forgotten how to socialise like a normal person because for the past few (hours? days? weeks?) you've just been sitting on your arse watching other people live (see stage 2).

4) The Desperation Stage
After realising you literally have nothing to look forward to after a long day at work or a boring social function, the panicked aftermath upon the completion of your show involves scrolling through the list of films on offer - ideally a trilogy: it will give you the time to figure out your next move. You will find love (a new show) again.

5) The Passive-Aggressive Stage
You keep thinking of the dedication you have shown. It takes others weeks, sometimes months to complete a series, but no, you inhaled it in less than 58 hours. You ponder on such time and energy and commitment, and how you should never have felt embarrassed, because you didn't realise the good you had right in front of you - until it was gone. You're mourning. You refuse to let go. Somehow you find yourself falling down a Wikipedia black hole doing ‘research’ and watching endless YouTube outtakes and bloopers because you are just not ready to say goodbye yet. You become incredibly jealous when thinking about all the people in the world who have yet to discover the brilliance, the importance, the sheer NECESSITY of this series, and hate them for their lack of participation within the Netflix community/religion. Yet, at the same time, you desperately wish to trade places with them just to experience the magic all over again for the first time.

6) The Processing Stage II (aka Moving On)
You feel like an empty shell of your former self and realise that this series has destroyed you. At some point you start calculating the number of hours of your life that you spent watching this series, but you stop halfway through because the number gets too high/depressing. And then, you move on to a rebound show and instantly forget about all the hours you’ve wasted so far. Because that’s what we do now.

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Thursday, 10 August 2017

More to Life Than 'Likes?'


Confession: I’m an Insta-addict.

Why? Because getting affirmation from strangers makes me feel good – it sounds awful, doesn’t it? Posting pictures in the hope of them (a.k.a. me) being liked.

But I guess seeking validation is nothing new. Maybe it springs from childhood. As a kid, I always remember wanting to make my parents happy. I remember wanting them to tell me I was doing a good job. My heart would swell with pride after they praised my positive school reports, and it would sink in disappointment when they couldn’t attend any plays I performed in. I even see it now amongst younger relatives; my cousins need congratulating on every picture they draw, every word they can spell, every Lego city they can build.

It makes me think how odd it is that a two year old and I can share such a similar desire. What is the point of success if the people I care about don’t care about it?

The only change is that the validation we crave isn’t just from peers or from family.  It comes from a public profile with strangers we invite into our worlds consisting of documentation of that wistfully candid pose looking out onto a blue ocean, and that ‘fitspirational’ slice of avocado on toast you once ate six months ago.

It’s the feedback we receive that thrills us. We are ‘goals’. We are deemed ‘follow-able’ because the content we post is interesting enough for someone to tap twice and forget about as quickly as they scrolled through and viewed it.

So I want to suggest that we tear our eyes away from the screen and look up at the person sitting across from us. Yes, that’s right; a real-life human. Because it’s the real-life relationships we form which should give us true joy. We shun the people who really are in our lives for approval from people who know nothing about you; except that you went to New York last Christmas and that your “#cheatday” go-to is an Oatmeal and Raisin Millie’s Cookie. It’s the people who really exist in our lives that deserve all our effort because, in cloudier times, it won’t be a like on social media which will pull you through. It will be support from the existing, real-life people around us which will brighten our days.

So next time I post a photo, I’ll be sure to match it with an actual human conversation with someone I love. They’re the ones who matter, not the likes I receive.
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